My Barber has moved away. I found him after a year of searching, when I moved here 6 years ago. He met every requirement I needed. He was a Master Barber. He did a very nice hot towel shave. I told him what I wanted - a taper with a #3 on the sides and an inch on top, and shave the back of my neck with a blade and hot lather - one time, on my first visit. 6 weeks later on my second visit, he greeted me by name and asked if I wanted the same cut, which he remembered. He'd reconfirm every time. That was above and beyond for me. I'll miss him.
He was not the best technical Barber I ever had, she is probably still in Baltimore, but he was very good, and... he had what I think of as an understanding of the traditional Barber/client relationship - a relationship that is important and meaningful to me, and which is harder to find, as my world morphs into the world of my descendants.
I've loved going to the Barber my whole life. My mother, bless her, really wanted to avoid my first haircut being traumatic, so she went overboard and started hyping the event to me days in advance. I was there, of course, but I have no memory of this. This is is what she has told me. She portrayed it as a big celebration in my honor, and the Barber was wise to the whole strategy. Apparently, it worked. I had a delightful time, and received my very first piece of bubblegum from the Barber as a reward.
I don't remember that piece of bubblegum, but I remember getting bubblegum from that Barber when he cut my hair before I moved away to college. In the car afterward was the only time I cried about leaving my hometown. He was my Barber from age 3 to 18. He was great. The shop was great. Saturday mornings, with my Dad, the "crew" of guys who just liked hanging out there and shooting the breeze, wrinkled issues of Field and Stream and Popular Mechanics and Sports Illustrated. Honestly, in a way, it was kind of like Mayberry. Only good memories.
It is my experience that the hair cutting event, as performed by beauticians, is fundamentally different from, and for my purposes inferior to, the service provided by a licensed Master Barber. In this State, a Beautician cannot shave me, and given the general quality of the cut, I would not let them near my face with an open blade. So there's that.
But if there's one single act that is a microcosm of the essence and value inherent in the traditional Barber/Client relationship, an example can be found in this video, 9:15 in:
This is
@BarberDave 's Barber shave video. The client is reclined and his face is covered with a hot towel. As Dave approaches the client to remove the towel, he gently touches the client's shoulder. It's the tiniest detail, perhaps the farthest from the actual shaving of any. He mentions it later and explains the touch. Its sole purpose is to protect and preserve the relaxation of the client. In fact, every single action a Master Barber performs on a client has this - the relaxation and comfort of the client - as a central principle of the service. That touch on the shoulder is one of literally hundreds of consciousness actions the Barber does in a particular way, to make the shave or haircut as relaxing and comfortable as possible. It is a level of service, developed over centuries(!), that you will not find at a Supercuts or Sportcuts or whatever factory chain you choose. They cannot provide that service because they are not Master Barbers and have not been trained. And for the most part, those folks are very young and have not lived much life yet. Here's why this is important to me.
A taper. #3 on the sides. An inch on top.
@BarberDave will tell you, any Barber could do this cut. The haircut, while being the actual and formal cause of the entire relationship, is subsumed into a ritual of carefully designed acts of comforting and caring that has benefitted me *as a person* for most of my life. For you see, all the while the Master Barber is providing the service, there is a conversation, or not, a good Barber quickly reads the client's inclination to converse. I made my decision about what college to attend because of a conversation with my Barber, that wasn't about college. I want a Bartender Barber, or a Pastor Barber. That makes this a tall order.
To me, there's a sense in which what Barbers do is a vocation. It's a relationship in which Caring is crucial. And I fear this is disappearing.
So now I have to find a new Master Barber, who is good and friendly, in this town of 30,000 people. This might be an advantage in my search - small town values, lifetime clientele, a small town hangout, and all that. But its a slow process. Like watching hair grow sometimes, literally.
I know of a great Barber in Nashville, but with traffic that's 2 hours of driving, plus, he's in a super wealthy neighborhood. $120 haircut! I didn't ask about the shave. If I had that budget, I'd just use the money to start flying to Tucson every couple of months!
Anybody have any ideas about how to find my next dream Barber? I've done it before, but I'm always looking for advice about things like this. It's a form of being cared for that I've valued my whole life. Any input is welcome!
The previous paragraph was my original post. I wasn't sure where best to post it. What goes on here in the Journals feels like where the significance of this event for me would be appreciated, and the level and diversity of life experience and thoughtfulness I'm blessed to encounter here can only be found here. Journal writers here have lived a lot and know a lot and care about each other.
At any rate, this is what I'm thinking about today, and it's kind of shaving related, so it felt to me like I'd most completely get my thoughts expressed in a Journal entry.
I do feel better. I really appreciate you reading all this. Barbers are important to me, and so is the Cadre.
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