Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[woodpusher]

Elementary Teacher: Does anyone know how old their daddy is?
Young Billy (sticks up his hand): I know, Miss!
Teacher: How old is your daddy, Billy?
Billy: He's 6!
Teacher: That's how old you are, Billy. How can your daddy be the same age?
Billy: He wasn't a daddy until I came along!

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave do you know all the great lakes? No? Well here's a trick to help you.

Spoiler

 

[BarberDave]

Damn, I almost forgot my daily quota......

Hey @NurseDave ...

I like the name Brie​

Spoiler

but it's a little cheesy.​

 

[BarberDave]

Hey @NurseDave ....

Why did the coffee call the police?​

Spoiler

It got mugged.​

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave why did the man fall down the well?

Spoiler

He couldn't see that well

 

[NurseDave]

 

[Cvargo]

Hey @NurseDave when is a joke truly a dad joke?

Spoiler

when it's apparent

 

[Cvargo]

Oh shucks! @NurseDave we've heard that one before... So you get two today.

Which state had the most streets?

Spoiler

Rhode Island

 

[NurseDave]

@GearNoir don't encourage this man

 

[Cvargo]

@GearNoir don't encourage this man

I don't need encouragement.



That circled # is all the encouragement I need. See ya tomorrow buddy.

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave why are Sundays only a little sad?

Spoiler

because the day before is a sadder day

 

[CBLindsay]

Did you hear about Elon's newest project? He is making shaving soap and aftershaves with fragrances what are controlled with your MIND. Hard to beleive I know, sounds crazy.
...But if you think about it makes scents.

 

[NurseDave]

 

[woodpusher]

@NurseDave , what do 7 siblings call their dad?

Spoiler

Dad

 

[Cvargo]

Did you hear about Elon's newest project? He is making shaving soap and aftershaves with fragrances what are controlled with your MIND. Hard to beleive I know, sounds crazy.
...But if you think about it makes scents.

+3 points for dad joke -5 points for not tagging @NurseDave

 

[BarberDave]

Darn! Another Catch up day

Hey @NurseDave !

Did you hear about the red and blue ships that collided?

Spoiler

All the sailors were marooned.

 

[BarberDave]

Hey @NurseDave !

Did you hear about the nurse who didn’t want to become a doctor?

Spoiler

He didn’t have the patients.

 

[BarberDave]

Hey @NurseDave!

What board game is
popular in Prague?

Spoiler

Czechers

 

[BarberDave]

Hey @NurseDave !

What do you call a boomerang that does not come back?

Spoiler

A stick.

 

[CBLindsay]

Hey @NurseDave

nothing. Just wanted my 5 points back