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Prolific Ponderings of Paranoid Psychosis

Jaro1069 said:
Thank you .. I offered to have my wife stay home and for me to work but she told me " Are you Crazy , that would drive me insane " !! So I stay and she goes to work... I mean it makes her happy although I get an itch to be out there sometimes and she indulges me and I do a little bit every now and then...
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So your wife thought it best that YOU be the one that goes insane...got it.

MY kids are older now (that happens if you wait long enough) but juggling school responsibilities was a major part of the last 20 years. We opted to put our kids into schools outside our local district so we had to drive them to school and pick them up in addition to facilitating hours of at home study and traditional kid activities. When my kids were around 6th grade we moved to another school that had 2 locations so we were dropping off and licking up at 2 locations. About 3-4 years ago (i forget exactly when) we moved our 2 youngest to a virtual/online school because the schools were failing them. The online school involved(s) live lessons and even phone calls as well as in person meet ups. The virtual school my kids attend is the same one Olympic Athletes, actors and musicians attend because it allows them to travel and do school on a more flexible schedule. Obviously already being in a virtual setting made the COVID days a non-issue, they continued to move forward as if nothing was happening (except the in person stuff being stopped). Unfortunately the COVID shutdown period coincided with of my daughter's graduation so that was forced online rather than being in person. I know first hand how much parent time is required to make a virtual school program work (heck, you need major parent involvement in traditional in-person schools). My advice to you is to make a weekly calendar that maps out each day's school activities and do as much as possible to keep to a fixed routine that includes dressing for school, doing morning chores etc. And of course, look for opportunities to get your kids in involved in extracurricular activities (like things offered through park and rec) and in person group play.
 
CBLindsay said:
So your wife thought it best that YOU be the one that goes insane...got it.

MY kids are older now (that happens if you wait long enough) but juggling school responsibilities was a major part of the last 20 years. We opted to put our kids into schools outside our local district so we had to drive them to school and pick them up in addition to facilitating hours of at home study and traditional kid activities. When my kids were around 6th grade we moved to another school that had 2 locations so we were dropping off and licking up at 2 locations. About 3-4 years ago (i forget exactly when) we moved our 2 youngest to a virtual/online school because the schools were failing them. The online school involved(s) live lessons and even phone calls as well as in person meet ups. The virtual school my kids attend is the same one Olympic Athletes, actors and musicians attend because it allows them to travel and do school on a more flexible schedule. Obviously already being in a virtual setting made the COVID days a non-issue, they continued to move forward as if nothing was happening (except the in person stuff being stopped). Unfortunately the COVID shutdown period coincided with of my daughter's graduation so that was forced online rather than being in person. I know first hand how much parent time is required to make a virtual school program work (heck, you need major parent involvement in traditional in-person schools). My advice to you is to make a weekly calendar that maps out each day's school activities and do as much as possible to keep to a fixed routine that includes dressing for school, doing morning chores etc. And of course, look for opportunities to get your kids in involved in extracurricular activities (like things offered through park and rec) and in person group play.
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Thank you for the advice , I appreciate it . I / my wife ( when she has a day off ) have tried to make it as much of a normal routine as possible.. As I said earlier I even got them school desk to make it more of a school like environment .. They eat around the same time each day and have their breaks on a set schedule. They have their "playtimes" ... The Virtual school they attend is Cyber Academy / K12.... They have a / n online class "Live" class with their virtual teacher at the same times each day except for Friday when they do not have to meet with a online "live" teacher.. I "let" them sleep "late" on Friday's ( I get to sleep in on Fridays ) ..
 
Today is a pretty good day. I am a little depressed. I was supposed to be in the Williams shave month but just haven't felt like shaving lately. As a stay at home dad who is online schooling 7 year old twins I just haven't really had time and like I said earlier I just haven't had the will to shave... Just watched a FFDP video and like always it bothered me as it always does. It made me think of my brothers in arms and wondering how many of them fit the video.. I know I often STILL have nightmares !! Had some last night. I woke up and I know i'm safe but it still bothers me. There are so many things I wish I had done differently but then I might not be where I am now in life with a beautiful wife and 3 great kids...
We are between classes right now.. There is an hour break before we start back up. I'm not gonna bore you with anymore of my ramblings right now, maybe I will bore you more later....
 
Jaro1069 said:
but then I might not be where I am now in life with a beautiful wife and 3 great kids.
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A great thought to hang onto. There’s lots of things I’d have loved to do differently, but if I really think about it, I’d have missed out on a lot of good thing too.

Hang in there dude!
 
Hey brother - I’m sorry you are still battling with some tough inner issues - you and your family are in my thoughts. Have you reached out to some of the support groups with folks that are going through the same issues?

I know that you love your family and know also that this family loves you.
 
Keep your head up man, we're here for ya!

Jaro1069 said:
I was supposed to be in the Williams shave month but just haven't felt like shaving lately.
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Don't worry, you're still in. There's no requirement to shave daily, so long as you use it for all your shaves until it's gone. Doesn't matter how long it takes.
 
Okay so I figure i'm not participating in the Williams challenge anymore this time as I have not really felt like shaving and as such have not used mine yet. After learning its no longer produced I also have No desire to see How fast I can get rid of it so I may use it occasionally but am Not trying to use it up to quickly..
Today is an okay day I guess and I'm thinking of maybe finally wet shaving again soon ( I had to be "presentable" the other day ) and just did a quick cleanup with one of those Phillips one blade electric razor things because it took all of a minute from start to finish... For some reason I just don't have the will to really do much of anything lately....
 
Well today totally sucks !!!!
Some of you may remember me talking about a friend named Ronnie ( the woman who basically came up with klingon womens current look ) Well she passed away a couple of years ago and then her husband passed away about a year later and NOW HER Daughter just passed away !!!! This is totally F'd up !!!!! Sunny ( she hated being called by that nickname by Everyone Except me ) was a good friend.....
 
Well it's Memorial Day / night. Currently I am very emotional. Why did we make it but so many of our brothers didn't. I don't know what i'm doing i'm just typing as it comes out. For some reason this memorial day is tougher than usual. My chest aches it feels like it is caving in and I have a hole that is just sucking the air out of me... Why do I feel so much hurt ? Why are the tears just rolling down my face ? Forgive my language but,,,, Damn it I should be stronger !!!! We were trained to not feel like this right ?? I don't know why I am this way , Was it something I saw or was it something that happened to me ? There are some blanks in my memories , god I pray they are not because of something Horrible... Yes I know being shot was a trauma , but I remember that.. A few inches higher and I probably wouldn't be here. The door had multiple bullet holes in it that would have hit me if they had not deflected for one reason or another. then out of the vehicle and still more firing. Would it ever stop !!!!!!! That's when I was hit. I remember it. First it felt a little warm then it didn't feel like anything then a dull ache then pain.. You see those all were happening at the same time. The pain and not the pain... I stayed in. I continued on I would not break. I healed. I didn't......... I fight I'm a soldier, I do my duty until that one day,, we jump we are under fire the jump is off I don't know what's going on. I come down but my leg is in pain afterwards... Gotta move , gotta look out for my guys , but , they are looking out for me. Well full leg cast for many , many months.. Off active duty but, not the end......
okay.. I have stopped and read what I typed... there is more to this than what I have typed.. But not tonight. My little ones have school testing tomorrow morning and I have to now try to be super dad to them and if I continue here now I dont know what I can be !!!!

I am gonna post this without any editing .... This is Me.....
 
I know holidays like this must difficult and cause you to relive painful times; I thank you for your service
 
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