Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[Spider]

I thought the dryer was thinking my clothes.


Turns out it was the refrigerator all along....

 

[ShawnF]

View attachment 144197

Thinking this new phone has a mind of its own and trying to make me look dumber than I am. Or it doesn't know what shrinking is.....

 

[Jaro1069]

Just before sweet potatoes are mashed, they become very quiet.
This is known as..
"the silence of the Yams."

 

[Jaro1069]

A lot of women complain that their husbands never listen to them.
I'm proud to say l've never heard my wife say that.

 

[NurseDave]

 

[Jaro1069]

 

[Jaro1069]

 

[Jaro1069]

 

[NurseDave]

 

[EMG06]

@NurseDave

What’s the opposite of a sugar daddy?

Spoiler

An Insulin Pimp

 

[NurseDave]

 

[EMG06]

 

[Sara-s]

Why was the pepper bad at archery?

Spoiler

It didn’t habanero.

 

[Sara-s]

Where do you go if you get hurt playing hide and seek?




The I.C.U.

Where do you go, if you get hurt playing hide and seek with a baby?

The Peekaboo I.C.U.

 

[Jaro1069]

 

[Jaro1069]

 

[Sara-s]

Scout’s honor, this is true.
My mom is quite well-travelled. In fact, she has been to every single continent. I’ve grown fond of telling people that she’s been everywhere except the moon. I have a theory about why she hasn’t gone there. It’s the restaurants. The food is great, but they lack atmosphere.

 

[NurseDave]

Scout’s honor, this is true.
My mom is quite well-travelled. In fact, she has been to every single continent. I’ve grown fond of telling people that she’s been everywhere except the moon. I have a theory about why she hasn’t gone there. It’s the restaurants. The food is great, but they lack atmosphere.

Boooooo

 

[Sara-s]

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a parrot?

Spoiler

I don’t know, but when it talks, I listen!

 

[richgem]

What do you get when you cross a tiger with a parrot?

Spoiler

I don’t know, but when it talks, I listen!

Like I said, a bird of a different feather... Urm... Stripe.