Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[Sara-s]

 

[heysi]

I forgot why I don't come into this forum.....but now I remember.

 

[Sara-s]

Where do generals keep their armies?

Spoiler

Up their sleevies.

.

 

[ShawnF]

Did you hear about the guy that fell into an upholstery machine?


It's ok, he's fully recovered.

 

[richgem]

Did you hear about the guy that fell into an upholstery machine?


It's ok, he's fully recovered.

I'm glad that his recovery is all sewn up.

 

[Sara-s]

Did you hear about the guy that fell into an upholstery machine?


It's ok, he's fully recovered.

Jokes like this keep me in stitches.

 

[Spider]

The Ghost of Christmas Future walks into a bar and orders an old fashioned.

The bartender scoffs and says, "We don't serve spirits here."

 

[ShawnF]

I saw a baguette in a cage once.



It was bread in captivity.

 

[richgem]

I saw a baguette in a cage once.



It was bread in captivity.

A very rye pun if ever there was one.

 

[Sara-s]

A very rye pun if ever there was one.

But it was the yeast he could do.

 

[richgem]

But it was the yeast he could do.

At least he wasn't just loafing around acting all kneady.

 

[Sara-s]

At least he wasn't just loafing around acting all kneady.

@richgem I love the way you roll woth the puns.

 

[richgem]

@richgem I love the way you roll woth the puns.

It's a fun and easy way to earn one's bread.

 

[ShawnF]

It's a fun and easy way to earn one's bread.

I'll toast to that!

 

[Sara-s]

I'll toast to that!

Don’t try to butter me up!

 

[CBLindsay]

 

[richgem]

Don’t try to butter me up!

Looks like @ShawnF is in a real jam now.

 

[NurseDave]

 

[Sara-s]

A little holiday humor;
A fancy restaurant’s chef prided himself on his Eggs Benedict. He served it on a shiny hubcap. When asked why, he explained, “Because there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.”

 

[richgem]

A little holiday humor;
A fancy restaurant’s chef prided himself on his Eggs Benedict. He served it on a shiny hubcap. When asked why, he explained, “Because there’s no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.”

And that's no yolk.