Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[Cvargo]

To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, wow! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Does it still hurt?
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.

We might be following the same facebook group ;-)

 

[HMan]

We might be following the same facebook group ;-)

I lifted if from Reddit, where all FB groups lead.

 

[SteveChuckFrank]

What kind of towels did the newlywed snakes buy?


Hissss and Hers

 

[HMan]

What kind of towels did the newlywed snakes buy?


Hissss and Hers

That one rattled me.

 

[SteveChuckFrank]

That one rattled me.

I see what you did there.....

 

[NurseDave]

That one rattled me.

oh dear

 

[HMan]

oh dear

This is the Dad Joke thread, it’s all about the groan.

 

[Aaron]

My daughter just got her report card. Overall, she's doing well. But no matter how hard she tries, she always fails Gender. I told her being a girl is no excuse.

 

[ShawnF]

I made a pencil with two erasers.





It was pointless.

 

[ShawnF]

When does a joke become a dad joke?







When it becomes apparent.

 

[Aaron]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, always has 6, but never has 5.

 

[The Monkey]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, always has 6, but never has 5.

 

[ShawnF]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, always has 6, but never has 5.

Yes.

 

[uacowboy]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, always has 6, but never has 5.

Took me a second. lol i like that one

 

[The Monkey]

What has 4 letters, sometimes has 9, always has 6, but never has 5.

 

[bobmsp]

Thanks for teaching me the definition of plethora. It means a lot.

 

[Blade-meister]

Did you hear that Arnold Schwarzenegger has a new movie coming out about classical music?






In the movie he'll be Bach.

 

[SM29]

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

 

[The Monkey]

I love mushrooms. I'm a fungi.

 

[HMan]

I asked a librarian if she had a book about Pavlov's Dog and Schrodinger's Cat

She said it rang a bell but wasn't sure if it was there or not.