Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[Aaron]

I tried to get a team together for the hide and seek tournament but had to give up.
Good players are so hard to find!

 

[The Monkey]

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?




Wave.

 

[Dave in KY]

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree?




Wave.

What if he's not friendly enough to wave back ?

 

[The Monkey]

What if he's not friendly enough to wave back ?

are you really analyzing a Dad Joke?

 

[Dave in KY]

are you really analyzing a Dad Joke?

Good point

 

[Aaron]

My wife was screaming in pain while she was in labor. I asked, "What's wrong?" "These contractions are killing me," she shouted. "Sorry," I replied, "what is wrong?"

 

[ShawnF]

A blind man walks into a bar and starts swinging his dog all around over his head.
The bartender hollers "what are you doing!?!?"
The blind man replies "just having a look around."

 

[Dave in KY]

Horse walks into a bar and the Bartender says









Why the long face ?

 

[ShawnF]

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.


I'll let you know.

 

[The Monkey]

How do you catch a rare wild animal?



You "unique" up on him.

 

[The Monkey]

How do you catch a rare domestic animal?





The "tame" way.

 

[ShawnF]

Want to hear a joke about construction?





Ehhh... I'm still working on it.

 

[ShawnF]

Five out of four people admit they are bad with fractions.

 

[ShawnF]

I invented a new word today.




Plagiarism.

 

[The Monkey]

Have you heard about the Dyslexic agnostic?



He wondered if there really was a DOG.

 

[uacowboy]

What did one snowman ask the other?





Do you smell carrots?

 

[Cvargo]

 

[NurseDave]

Ugh

 

[Cvargo]

Posted in our neighborhood Facebook page. I'm laughing over here

 

[HMan]

To prove I'm not some boring house dad I went and got a tattoo!

Her: Oh, wow! It's.. uh?
Me: (proudly) It's my thermos! From work!
Her: (reaching towards me) Does it still hurt?
Me: (slaps hand away) Don't touch the thermos tat.