FarmerTan is lost. Big surprise.

[FarmerTan]

So I am going to start a diary here. I decided to call it a diary because journal sounds kinda formal, and since I'm a TINY bit dyslexic a diary in my brain is kinda like a dairy.
About me: I often claim to have an incredibly handsome face. The truth is it's about average. But what is average? I remember a time when a batting average in the Bigs that wasn't above .299 was not that respected. So maybe I do have an incredibly handsome face?

I'm also involuntarily retired. Which sucks, because I had finally been werking my dream job for about 2 years. Then my cardiologist ruined that, by doing what I presume is his dream job: telling people to quit werking.
You may have noticed that I spell working with an "e" instead of an "o"..... I do that because on my tracfone my typewriter thingy starts out "qwerty" etc... Look at your phone. I'll bet yours does too.

I'm not really a Farmer. They werk too hard. I just put a seed in the ground and water it and mulch it and watch it grow. I am what I call an "ameteur" Farmer, or Gardener.
I am also a licensed Ham. I find it hilarious that I call myself a Ham Operator because I'm not sure how to spell "ameteur!"

I honestly can't think of anything more to say about myself that is any less boring than I have already typed. My deepest, most sincere apologies, Cadre!

With love (or at least lots of like), Dave, the Tanned Farmer.

 

[The Monkey]

 

[FarmerTan]

View attachment 42886

Thanks. I will ALWAYS aim high in my diary. Just like in hunting: if I aim high I'm liable to hit something else behind my original target, and it may even taste good.

 

[MilkCrate]

Nice first post! Welcome to your diary!

 

[FarmerTan]

Thanks. I will ALWAYS aim high in my diary. Just like in hunting: if I aim high I'm liable to hit something else behind my original target, and it may even taste good.

Which reminds me of a true story. Not that a thing like the truth ever got in the way when I tell a story.... But this is true. A friend of mine was hunting my property. He shot a buck. He walked up to the dead buck, and about 10 feet behind it was a dead HUGE doe.

Moral of the story: don't count your deer before you shoot them. I think.

 

[FarmerTan]

Nice first post! Welcome to your diary!

Thank you. It's partly your fault I started one. I love attention, and you often make what I think is called a "laughing round yellow thingy picture" comment on my posts.

 

[GearNoir]

Bummer about the forced retirement...but glad you’re still around Dave!

What Ham radio like these days? Still catch interesting stuff?

 

[FarmerTan]

SERIOUS QUESTION ALERT....

If I ever decide to really write a book, (which honestly, don't you think I owe it to humankind?) is the wisdom I put on here my own intellectual property (I heard that snicker, @MilkCrate ) ? I mean, does the Cadre have to give me permission to publish this garbage I spew?

I ain't never published anything so this really is a serious question. I've been thinking about my memoirs for my son. I'm not in great health, and I'm thinking of amending my living trust so that his inheritance would be contingent on him reading my book, and getting 100% on a test before he gets anything.

 

[FarmerTan]

Bummer about the forced retirement...but glad you’re still around Dave!

What Ham radio like these days? Still catch interesting stuff?

I'm ashamed to admit I DON'T EVEN MONITOR the bands anymore. We all have ham licenses now: cell phones and internet!

 

[MilkCrate]

Thank you. It's partly your fault I started one. I love attention, and you often make what I think is called a "laughing round yellow thingy picture" comment on my posts.

I have a warped sense of humor.

 

[FarmerTan]

I have a warped sense of humor.

Wait a minute. What does that say about ME?

 

[MilkCrate]

Wait a minute. What does that say about ME?

 

[TobyC]

No no no, it starts; "Dear diary", and then you write the drivel.

 

[woodpusher]

Hugh seam like a centsable guy. Have hugh tried Arko yet, my friend?

 

[FarmerTan]

Hugh seam like a centsable guy. Have hugh tried Arko yet, my friend?

I even use it in my trail mix my friend!

 

[TobyC]

So, how's the ticker?

 

[dangerousdon]

And here I thought this whole thing was going to start out something like, "It was a dark and stormy night..."

 

[FarmerTan]

And here I thought this whole thing was going to start out something like, "It was a dark and stormy night..."

Well Sally, that is so cliche'...

 

[FarmerTan]

So, how's the ticker?

Worse than I'd like, but better than I deserve. Between that and my lungs I actually made an appointment with my cardiologist.

Some days I wish I never would have went to Kollege to be a nurse. I have a feeling that my heart is beyond compensating and in to compensated. I'll be interested to know what my ejection fraction is. I'm betting on less than 30. If it's 40, I'm thinking I have a coronary artery blockage or my lungs are werser than I thought. Either way is good tho, even if I do sound like it's time for a pity party, lol! I've been in and out of heart failure since my teens.

Shorter answer: life is good my friend.

Lol, my answer would have been less maudlin if I'd had my coffee first!

So, the Cadre blames YOU my friend for asking the question!

 

[TobyC]

Well of course it's my fault!

How's the cholesterol?