Shawn & Chad's House of Dad Jokes

[NurseDave]

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave what do you call a party for Hobbits?

Spoiler

A little get together

 

[Cvargo]

Saturday

@NurseDave what do you call a hobbit eating KFC?

Spoiler

Lord of the wings

 

[Cvargo]

Sunday

@NurseDave how did Frodo ruin the boxing match?

Spoiler

He tried to destroy the ring

 

[Cvargo]

Today

@NurseDave
what superhero was a baker who was bitten by a spider?

Spoiler

Spi-dough man

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave why is England the most wet country?

Spoiler

Because the queen reigned for so long!

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave why couldn't Dracula's wife get enough sleep?

Spoiler

Because of his coffin

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave how did the hipster burn his tongue on his pizza?

Spoiler

He ate it before it was cool

 

[Cvargo]

@NurseDave what do you call it when Batman skips out on church?

Spoiler

Christian Bale

 

[NurseDave]

 

[NurseDave]

 

[ShawnF]

A blonde is doing a jigsaw puzzle.
Her boyfriend asks "what are you doing honey?"
She says "a jigsaw puzzle you idiot"
He says "what's it supposed to be?"
She shows him the box and says "a rooster!"
He says "awww honey, let's put the cornflakes back in the box...."

 

[ShawnF]

My doctor recommended that I buy orthopedic insoles. I didn't think they would work, but now I stand corrected.

 

[EMG06]

@NurseDave

Why did Monday always lose to Sunday in arm wrestling?

Spoiler

Because it was a weak day!

 

[NurseDave]

 

[ShawnF]

I changed my toilets name from John to Jim.
Now everyone is impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim every morning.

 

[ShawnF]

Where do you go if you get hurt playing hide and seek?




The I.C.U.

 

[Spider]

My wife said, "I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis.
I replied, "That's 15 love."

 

[NurseDave]