Texan translation:
"Hey y'all
It would be quite the honor to join this group while on my search for the shave that reminds me like my granddaddy did eons ago. Just like my grandaddy, I am a straight razor user. I don't think I am Walker Texas Ranger when I use it, but I enjoy the challenge, like breaking in a new bronco. I am quite fond of First Line shave products, Strike Gold Soaps, and Ethos products. I have as many shave brushes as I do belt buckles, and I ain't picky whether it is boar, badger, or synthetic. Sheriff Frank, Dragonsbeard, tells me this is the place for a good o'le boy like myself. I am lookin' forward to saying howdy to everybody like it's Sunday mornin' service!
YEEHAWW"
Welcome to The Cadre! You joined a good group here!