I just wanted to share a quick example of why I believe relationships and trust are so important. I have always told my kids they need to be aware of how they behave in public and how they treat people and the work they do for people (even when they think they can get away with doing less). I tried to impress upon them the importance of being the kind of person that when you die, the people you've encountered will notice you've gone and remember you for what you've done and the quality of character you possessed. I kinda think you may not always have a lot in life but if you live a good life, do good and be the kid of person people can trust you will ALWAYS be remembered...which is kinda like having more than anything you can buy. My parents and many of their friends had a similar kind of attitude so when my mom died and 7 years later her name still opens doors, my kids understand what i mean.
Well, here we are in the middle of 2020 and my oldest son has finished his first year if teaching (at a school district my mom was the district nurse for), is about to get married and is buying his first house. Of course, after living and working in the community my entire life I know a few people and have some relationships with people I trust more than others. My son is independent and capable of doing what he needs on his own so until I was asked I didn't offer any advice (he needs to develop his own relationships and trust) but when he asked about a loan officer I had someone to refer to that I trusted. This particular person wasn't a super powerful or creative loan officer, my son didn't need that kind of person, he needed a mom like person who would do what was right without question. I had so much trust in this person I bought a car from her 6 years ago sight unseen, just signed the check, took the keys and went out to the lot and clicked the button until the horn beeped. Loved that car. She helped him with his first offer but that offer fell through. I told my son the first house would still happen, his loan lady was right and the other guys offer was too rich...trust her. Nope, his agent took him to look at more and more expensive houses. A few days later the first house came back to him, the other guys offer fell through (too rich) and the selling agent urged my son to talk to another banker who would help him with other loans that would allow him to make a higher offer. I objected to the incetuous relationship(and that the selling agent and other banker were willing to knowingly go around an existing relationship) and explained to him how everyone gets paid BUT reminded him the goal was to buy the house at the price and terms he could afford so I would oversee the numbers regardless of WHO is presenting them. Finally today, my son goes back to the first lady (my trusted lady) and presents her with the loan the other guy has hooked my son up with and tells her he NEEDS to go with the other guy because these numbers work out. He pointed out the features and terms that made the numbers work that allowed his counter offer possible and thanked her for helping him, allowing her the opportunity to "bid for the job". She felt she could find a similar loan and possibly beat the terms but wasn't sure. So my son called the other lender and told him he was still considering ALL options. The guy flipped out and ultimately hing up after giving my son the riot act. All the while the original lady calmly proceeded to confirm whether she could or could not improve upon the loan the guy had presented. Before the hour was over the guy had emailed some additional hate filled words and my lady had LOCKED in a LOWER rate, better loan AND as a kicker her lender offered to kick in an additional $1300 from their own profits to sweeten the deal just because the other guy was being a big bottom.
My words when my son started this whole process were short and sweet. "this lady isn't the best or most creative, you don't need that. She IS the most trusted and caring, she is also SO known in the community she would never do wrong by you because she knows they community would notice even if you didn't" The guy the other lady urged him to go to is part of one of the most well known banks in the area, a real wiz bang guy (buy he still needed a manager to "close the deal" ) and once I ring the bell on his tantrum it will cost that bank $millions in deposits. He could have been knowns as the guy who helped my son rather than the guy who threw a tantrum. Let this be a reminder, we are always being watched and the person we are helping (or hanging up on) has a family and friends that have deeper connections. Make one happy and you make them all happy, make one unhappy and you make a WHOLE LOT of them unhappy.
Well, here we are in the middle of 2020 and my oldest son has finished his first year if teaching (at a school district my mom was the district nurse for), is about to get married and is buying his first house. Of course, after living and working in the community my entire life I know a few people and have some relationships with people I trust more than others. My son is independent and capable of doing what he needs on his own so until I was asked I didn't offer any advice (he needs to develop his own relationships and trust) but when he asked about a loan officer I had someone to refer to that I trusted. This particular person wasn't a super powerful or creative loan officer, my son didn't need that kind of person, he needed a mom like person who would do what was right without question. I had so much trust in this person I bought a car from her 6 years ago sight unseen, just signed the check, took the keys and went out to the lot and clicked the button until the horn beeped. Loved that car. She helped him with his first offer but that offer fell through. I told my son the first house would still happen, his loan lady was right and the other guys offer was too rich...trust her. Nope, his agent took him to look at more and more expensive houses. A few days later the first house came back to him, the other guys offer fell through (too rich) and the selling agent urged my son to talk to another banker who would help him with other loans that would allow him to make a higher offer. I objected to the incetuous relationship(and that the selling agent and other banker were willing to knowingly go around an existing relationship) and explained to him how everyone gets paid BUT reminded him the goal was to buy the house at the price and terms he could afford so I would oversee the numbers regardless of WHO is presenting them. Finally today, my son goes back to the first lady (my trusted lady) and presents her with the loan the other guy has hooked my son up with and tells her he NEEDS to go with the other guy because these numbers work out. He pointed out the features and terms that made the numbers work that allowed his counter offer possible and thanked her for helping him, allowing her the opportunity to "bid for the job". She felt she could find a similar loan and possibly beat the terms but wasn't sure. So my son called the other lender and told him he was still considering ALL options. The guy flipped out and ultimately hing up after giving my son the riot act. All the while the original lady calmly proceeded to confirm whether she could or could not improve upon the loan the guy had presented. Before the hour was over the guy had emailed some additional hate filled words and my lady had LOCKED in a LOWER rate, better loan AND as a kicker her lender offered to kick in an additional $1300 from their own profits to sweeten the deal just because the other guy was being a big bottom.
My words when my son started this whole process were short and sweet. "this lady isn't the best or most creative, you don't need that. She IS the most trusted and caring, she is also SO known in the community she would never do wrong by you because she knows they community would notice even if you didn't" The guy the other lady urged him to go to is part of one of the most well known banks in the area, a real wiz bang guy (buy he still needed a manager to "close the deal" ) and once I ring the bell on his tantrum it will cost that bank $millions in deposits. He could have been knowns as the guy who helped my son rather than the guy who threw a tantrum. Let this be a reminder, we are always being watched and the person we are helping (or hanging up on) has a family and friends that have deeper connections. Make one happy and you make them all happy, make one unhappy and you make a WHOLE LOT of them unhappy.
