I both applaud and Curse my business partner, and 2nd son, for posting this. Normally in these matters I keep most of my emotions close to the vest, and , also normally I would never respond to a thread like this. Reading these entries, however, made me reflect and I decided maybe a purge would be a good idea. Call it a protection method, as you learn, if you have ever served in a forward combat position, to, in a way disassociate and remove feelings from the equation, as if you don't, the horrors, of what you have seen and done will haunt you forever. 2020, and 2021, were much in this way for me. I apologize in advance for what may seem very dark and foreboding, but it does have light for 2022, plus
@CVargo, you asked.
2020 was rough on us all, with the unknowns, the rumors, the false and true facts. for me however it was more of a business thing. Yes we were shut down for awhile, but overall life went on. Being retired and okay financially, the closure of Barbers was just a speedbump, in what turned out to be an OK, year, not great, but OK. No-one was afflicted with the pandemic, and I was able to purchase a Barbershop, and things with the TSC were going splendid, so things looked upbeat for 2022.
How wrong I was....... Again, I apologize but this vomitus, and purge is, after much relection, needed, and this is the only place I trust it will be taken in context from what has become for me a fellowship of family. So, at 2359 hrs, my bride and I stood out in the cold, and yelled "%$&* you 2020". This turned out to be an omen that would last all the way to December of 2021 with no quarter, other than a much needed trip during the Thanksgiving holiday to
@CVargo and
@mvargo 's home, and the precious gift of Kona from
@sunnysanity and
@uacowboy . Which at the end of the day was really the 2 items that saved our sanity, along with the fellowship of this unique place.
Lets recap 2021 for the Eisenhuth Clan.
1/2021: Food poisoning
2/2021: Sharon's Mom dies in a home fire, and the journey into depression and self blame for both Sharon and I
6/2021: Back Surgery and out for 3-months.
11/2021: DVT Blood Clot due to 2nd vaccination of J&J Vaccine
12.2021: Diagnosis of Type-2 Diabetes.
So, as you can see, both Sharon and I had a wheel barrow full of crap to be pissed at, not to mention, Sharon's retirement and disability fight, which will not be discussed here.
The 1st three items, as well as the 5th, are something we have come to accept, but the 4th item is what I am most angry about. As some of you know I researched, researched, and the researched again, the vaccination, as well as which one, and the benefits to my clients, my family, and so forth. Only to find out I could not get one, due to my age ( take that
@CVargo . I was too Young! LOL ). For 4 months, I petitioned my local govt, the county I live in, and the state, to get a vaccination due to the demographics of my clientele. Each time I was denied. Finally it became available, and I jumped. Feeling much better and moving forward the "booster became available", and since I had no issue with the 1st, there was no reason to even suspect I was about to win the 1-10,000,000 lottery. Just before Our planned Thanksgiving trip to See the Vargos I was diagnosed with a DVT femoral/tibial blood clot. After looking at my labs, and how good they were my, PCP indicated that based on those numbers and the lack of history she thought it may be vaccine related, as J&J was known to cause rare issues in women and in a much lesser case men. I blew that off as speculation, and attacked the issue head on with medication, although it was something that very easily if untreated could have killed me. The doctor advised against our trip. I am so glad I told her to shove it, as the trip to
@CVargo , and
@mvargo 's was actually the saving grace for 2021, as we were able to just release most of the crap that 2021 had thrown to us, and be welcomed as family. Plus it made the Diabetes diagnosis, which came the day we got home, much easier to deal with. Later on however the DVT and diagnosis of the vaccine causing it was proved by a Hematologist
My long winded point is this I did everything I thought was correct, and still in an astronomical outrageous chance, it came back to bite me. Am I still angry at 2021? until last night I was. While sitting on the TSC Zoom call I saw what over the last 2-years, folks that have become brothers, sisters, and family. As you, the Cadre, were our contact points to society, and I believe we all grew closer. We saw joy, births, and tragedy within our membership, but through it all we had each others backs, both in emotional support , as well as spiritual.
The only thing that remains, and sadly it is what I see as the biggest problem with 2021 is how people have become to each other, mean, angry, lack of caring and compassion, selfish, and divided. As
@dangerousdon mention, it created a cynicism in me that I did not appreciate, I felt dirty and uncaring. However, my faith, and ( read the paragraph above ) illustrated to me that there is still so much GOOD in people, you just have to read between the lines. So when someone asks the question what am I thankful for? It is 2021! WHAT? Yes, that is what I said. Without the tribulation, both personal, and societal, I would not have seen past my own anger, and cynicism, to see my faith, my family, and the biggest thing HOPE and confidence in who we are.
So what am I thankful for? The proof ( at least as my faith allows me to believe ) that GOD will test us, and if we are lucky enough he will reveal why he made it so tough. That epiphany came to me yesterday, when I hear negativity all around, as was able to look past it to the positive, and let go of the anger, resentment, and problems I may have. I just will not allow, or at least I will make a concerted effort, negativity to enter my life. I am not much on resolutions, as you either do it , or don't, but I guess what I just wrote is that resolution. To let positivity, and light dominated 2022 for me, my family, and freinds, and ignore or shove the rest of it down the trash.
There..... Purged and lighter.
Happy New Year Cadre Family. In large part because of you we were able to make it.
Thanks for being members of my extended family and for all you do
